Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
