how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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