So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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