I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I wish I only lived at night.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you win again, gameday.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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