getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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