it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Pooping to opera.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize