i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
