wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
