The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
