Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
