just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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