"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize