Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
