im drinking this country out of the recession.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Randomize
