Define "chronic" masturbator.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
