Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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