they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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