I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
