I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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