He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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