she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
