I will die if light touches me.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
