I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
