he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So many bounce houses so little time
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
