I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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