I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My dick has a subreddit
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
