i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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