clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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