Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
