I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
