i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
