this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
