Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
