He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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