so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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