How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
