We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
