why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
