I showed him my bush... on skype.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
