it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
