We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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