yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
