this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
