who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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