I hope mine doesn't look like that
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
