I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
