Its about making memories worth repressing
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
