I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have feelings that need drinking.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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