I'm lost and stupid without you.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
