You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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