I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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