called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
