five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
