Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
