Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
