if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
