It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
