I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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