By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
