Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
