Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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