so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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