I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
