Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
