is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
