You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
